How did the Floods affect us?

Posted: January 14, 2011 in Just for LULz

This is the last post about 2011 Floods, I promise.

It’s already Friday, and people are still asking me whether we got affected by these floods. I’ve received this question so many times since Tuesday, that I don’t even attempt to count them. Everyone asks me this, my former classmates, people from last year’s UQ Speech Path course, our relatives from Russia, some random family friends… It’s nice that you care, but, to be honest, I’m seek of it already!

Here’s my explanation of what happened (be aware that this is the last time I’m telling it, so listen read carefully!!!!):

I woke up on Tuesday by myself at 9 am. It was raining outside. I went to the living room, nobody was home. Everything seemed so quite and peaceful. The tranquility was rather unusual and the silence was calming.

First, I went to the bathroom. Everything was peaceful in there too, nothing that I could describe as extraordinary.

I stood above the tab. Opened it. The water started pouring down the sink.

Nothing unusual.

I grabbed my tooth paste in my right hand and my toothbrush in my left hand. I slowly squeezed some tooth paste on my toothbrush.

I put the toothbrush into my mouth and, calmly, started brushing my teeth by making slow, but rhythmic, movements with my left arm.

This was going on for about 15 seconds.

And then………. WOOO-BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

A Titanic wave of inland tsunami smashed all the windows! Suddenly, there was water everywhere!

All the furniture went into a complete mess, swimming entropically all around the house!

More and more water was coming with each wave!

I quickly remembered my KGB training didn’t panic. Heroically, I rushed into the garage. In a matter of milliseconds, I found an old inflatable boat, instantly inflated it with the air from my lungs, grabbed an oar and went back to the house, through which I was kayaking madly, from room to room. Like a crazy psycho who’s  trying to conquer waterfalls on a mounting river, I was trying to find and save my laptop.

And I succeeded. Otherwise, how would I tell you all this stuff right now?

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