When I was in grade 11, I accidentally came up with a model which, if proven true, leads to a conclusion that there is a parallel universe with all of its physical space occupied by an infinite foot. The model now holds a fancy title *“Negative Shoe-size theory”*.

One day, during a lunch time at school, I was trying to visually imagine the dynamic model of how volume of foot changes with the shoe-size. I don’t remember why I was thinking about that on the day, but those thoughts were rather occupying.

So, when I got to shoe-size 1, I was seeing a tiny-tiny foot, only a few cubic centimeters in volume. Then the shoe-size zero came into my imagination, and the feet disappeared completely.

“Now”, I thought, “what if the shoe size went negative.” That would be hard to imagine, but I gave it a shot.

See, when dealing with shoe-size in terms of volume, there are really just two variables which depend on each other: **the volume occupied by foot** (which can range depending on a shoe size) and **the volume that isn’t occupied by foot** (which is, pretty much, infinite, considering that the borders of our Universe are physically unreachable). So, what happens if the shoe size goes negative? That’s right! These two variables invert! The free-from-foot volume in the Universe becomes limited by the shoe-size and the foot-volume becomes infinite. So, if we’re dealing with a negative shoe-size, we would have all the physical space occupied by one giant foot which would have an infinite volume, and we would have only a tiny fraction of space that would be free from foot. The volume of this free space will depend on the negative shoe size. If the shoe size is -6, then the free space will be relatively small, if the shoe size is -15, then the free space will be relatively bigger.

I drew this model on a piece of paper and started showing it to everyone.

Daniel Park was the first person, besides me, who understood it. He thought that it was kind of funny, but, nevertheless, totally pointless and stupid. I agreed.

I was later using this “theory” to troll my Physics, Chemistry and Math B teachers.

Ahhh… I miss the school days.

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